How do I make this stop?
I seem to have hit that phase of life where people drop like flies. I was definitely not expecting that for another ten years. Can I not just go back to the “WE’RE ENGAAAAGED!!” phase, as irritating as it was?
It feels like only yesterday I was lecturing friends about Life and Death: “Show me thy grief and I shall cure thee with my wisdom”. Because you know, as a creative, my innate gift was naturally extended to a deep understanding of the universe. That exclusive access to invisible layers of reality only us lot can enjoy.
Then my life changed. A lot.
Sunday 6th September 2015: the day I realised I had acted like a complete douche all my life. The day I learnt I knew nothing.
The most unsettling slap I ever took. The most beneficial one too.
Death taught me a lesson I vaguely knew but didn’t care enough to study. And realising that really sucked.
But despite all the pain, panic and regrets I’ve been dragging since that day, the penny has finally dropped, and seeing the world with brand new (red puffy) eyes has had a major positive impact on my life:
I realised that people -myself included- aren’t immortal.
[I KNOW, RIIIGHT??!!]
Here is what I’ve done so far with this ground-breaking discovery:
- I make sure I reply to my mum’s emails within 48h
- I make more time for the people I love
- I cut down my hours as a startup director by half and spend the other half on fulfilling personal projects
- I make more time for reading and writing (followed Tobias van Schneider’s advice & wrote my Big List)
- I learn to let go.
- I have slowed the fuck down and am taking better care of myself.
Death made me stop and realise that I had taken a path that had nothing to do with me. Sure, I learnt a hell of a lot along that path, but it was time to accept the bigger lesson and get back to the road I belonged. Steering the wheel demanded me to grow a bigger pair, but all efforts were for the worthy cause of ridding myself of regrets [work in progress].
So goodbye, Death, you’ve been a brutal but efficient teacher. Let’s not rush into the next class.
Hello, Life, I’m ready to listen.