Traveling or Settling?

girl enjoying the freedom of a ride at the back of a pick up truck

 

Okay. I feel slightly lost in my own choices.

 

Let’s start this by admitting that, yes, I do want it all.

 

That seeing friends conquer goals that didn’t have a place on my map makes me ponder about my sudden envy of those goals which, let’s face it, are mostly statutory.

I’m a hand-to-mouth kind of person, with three main passions to feed:

  • A passion for traveling
  • A pride for my home
  • A total weakness for good wine

Therefore, my motivation to work revolves around:

  • My next trip
  • My next home improvement
  • My next wine order

Those are the things I enjoy the most and feed with any earning and opportunity.

home-campervan

 

So why is it that when I hear of friends buying a house, I feel like I’m missing out?

 

I could do like most people and simply SAVE money instead of burning it in life’s various pleasures, hoping that one day I’d squirrelled away enough to present a non-laughable mortgage deposit. I could. But that would mean saying no to seeing the world. At least temporarily.

 

This little inner debate has now been going on for a while (it tends to increase in the absence of long-haul trips to look forward to), but the pattern is always the same:

  1. Shall I sort my shit out?
  2. Oh, I have enough money in my savings
  3. My hard work deserves to be rewarded by some wine
  4. My hard work deserves to be rewarded by some awesome shit for the house.
  5. Let’s book an amazing trip to the other side of the world
  6. (whilst on the trip) Fuck it, you only live once, let’s do EVERYTHING we want even though it implies drying out my saving account.

 

carpe-vinum

I’ve been chatting this thing over with several house-owning close friends of mine and, surprisingly, a majority of them told me to carry on investing in adventures rather than estate.

 

To a stronger degree, what keeps popping in my mind is the street-interview (below) by the awesome Ryan Jon on the subject, ending on the words of an older lady who says that, if back in her days traveling had been this easy, she would not have hesitated one second between the house and the travels – she would have gone to see the world.

 

Where does this put me? It leaves me right at the middle of this nagging debate of mine, with the silent hope that my first-ever lottery ticket will be a winning one, tomorrow.

 

I guess you can call that my first step towards this whole house-owning business. Right?

break-free

 

I want more, says the voice.

picture of landscape with text overlay of the definition of novaturient

 

Ever found yourself in that state where the voice in your head, your voice, keeps on repeating: “I want more out of life.”

 

Of course you have.

 

Some might say that this is all linked to a logical state of holiday blues following the amazing two weeks I’ve just spent traveling around Thailand – sure, I hear you. But I also know that I’m at my best when traveling (read: exploring, backpacking, pushing my own boundaries in a foreign countries – resorts and all inclusive being a soul-killer to me), that it helps me put my mind back in the right place and remember what truly matters to me.

See, my worst enemy is routine. It’s a filthy one that likes to pretend it’s your friend, by smothering you in a comfort zone that turns you blind and deaf to the yearnings inside, turning the temporary into permanent – one guaranteeing each time to make me slowly simmer inside until I emotionally explode.

slow-motion picture of a bubble being burst

I’ve known for years that I’m not shaped for sedentary life, yet I find myself investing more into it on a regular basis – either through home improvement-related activities, or through numbing the wild voice inside by drinking myself happy.

I’m torn between this beautiful and comfortable thing called Home, and an inner fire to explore, meet, learn, feel.

home-tent-view

“I want more out of life” – so, let’s hear what the voice is saying to me this time.

It says it doesn’t want to get back to the unhealthy, oversleeping, passionless, and numb version of myself that took over for half a year, before I set foot on foreign land three weeks ago. It says that’s not me. That I shouldn’t let the light and the fire die again. Because, fuck it, my time’s counted (and so is yours, by the way).

Beyond the panicky “sell it all, pack your shit and go”, it says: “never cease working on being a better version of yourself” – in what you are, and in what you do. Because that’s the only sane movement that will get you where you want to be.

 

travel

 

So where is it I want to be?

In a place where I take better care of myself and my dreams, where my priorities guide my decisions – redefining my priorities so they reflect who I am and where I want to be… hang on, going round in circle here.

I moved my work to freelancing with the aim of giving myself the possibility of working from anywhere in the world (providing there’s a decent wifi connection). It’s been just over a year now, one where I’ve had to find my balance and, although I’m not quite there yet, I’ve experienced enough self-sabotaging through that year to realise that I needn’t wait until I’ve totally found my feet to stir my work life in the direction I need it to go.

So let’s start this new journey with some official rules.

The work rules I need to follow to keep the flexibility and fire I yearn for are:

  • Take work that can be done from anywhere in the world;
  • Take that flexibility, don’t let it go to waste;
  • Take work that brings you financial stability;
  • Take work you feel passionate about;
  • Take the skills you enjoy to the next level.
Let’s start with that.

you go girl